At Social Living Solutions we pride ourselves on being neurodiversity-affirming and providing consistency of therapeutic relationships, but what does that mean to an autistic brain? And why is it so important?
The Autistic brain
10-year-old Ashley* has autism. How is his brain different?
As humans, we rely heavily on a part of the brain known as the amygdala (emotional brain) to process emotions and to activate in the face of a potential threat. Unfortunately, the amygdala processes information faster than the rational brain and can activate a fight, fight or freeze response before reason has time to advise otherwise.
Studies now show autistic brains have larger amygdalas than their neurotypical counterparts, which can lead to increased anxiety levels and challenges regulating feelings. Effectively, with this more sensitive amygdala, the autistic brain sees threats in scenarios their rational brain (and many neurotypical brains) may not, such as a change in teacher or a disruption to weekly routine.
Commonly co-occurring neurodivergent conditions like alexithymia (difficulty identifying or describing emotions – their own and those of others) or interoceptive awareness struggles (difficulty noticing and processing internal signals that their body needs food, rest or warmth) can further increase the perception of threat where it does not exist.
Fight/flight/freeze and the importance of consistency
One Saturday, Ashley* arrives at the swimming lessons he usually loves. Upon discovering he has a substitute teacher he has a meltdown and refuses to participate. Why?
One of the things an autistic brain commonly perceives as a threat is change. New people, activities, or routines can trigger a meltdown or fight/flight/freeze response. You may even notice that changing furniture around the house or being asked to wear a new pair of pyjamas is met with strong emotional reactions.
Consistency, on the other, hand helps the amygdala connect to previous safe experiences and stay calm. This is why we suggest slowly introducing change, discussing and preparing for it where required, and recognising when it matters to push new things and when we might avoid change.
One area where consistency most matters is with support teams and therapists. These people we ask to assist our neurodivergent child through the neurotypical world need to build a relationship to act as a guide. They are the ones who can help you and your child manage life’s changes, so it makes sense that we should do everything we can to avoid unnecessary changes to coaches, counsellors, physiotherapists, etc, to get the best outcomes for your child.
Neurodiversity-affirming support
A few days after his meltdown, Ashley’s parents start looking for a psychologist to help him feel safer in new situations. What should they look for to get the best results?
Traditional therapy under the traditional medical model of mental health assumed that neurodivergence, including autism, was a problem to fix. However, now we understand that autism is not something that can, or should, be ‘fixed’ just to meet neurotypical expectations. Instead, we now understand that this can lead to highly stressful levels of masking and burnout over time.
Current models of therapy for autism and other neurodivergent individuals should be neurodiversity-affirming. A neurodiversity-affirming therapist, whether a psychologist, speech therapist or even a teacher, understands the unique experience of each individual’s autism. They hold space for every client as the expert of their own life, seeking to support change only to reach each client’s individual life goals rather than to change all neurodivergent traits to meet neurotypical expectations.
Look for statements regarding neurodiversity-affirming practices or specialist experience on providers’ websites or ask potential therapists what neurodiversity-affirming means to them or how they implement it in their sessions. When you find one who meets your requirements, watch them interact with your child, and ask your child how they feel after seeing them. Then trust your instincts.
Support unavoidable change with energy accounting
As parents we cannot control every aspect of our children’s lives, no matter how much we wish it for them. But it can be hard to watch our children experience distress or meltdown as a result of changes beyond our control. Often, the only thing we can do is focus on the things we can influence. Energy accounting is a great starting point. Everything in life gives or takes emotional and/or physical energy, and unavoidable change can take a lot from an autistic brain.
If your child is well-resourced with energy in advance, they may be more likely to move through the amygdala’s initial response to a rational brain response earlier. If your child is already distressed or depleted, resourcing them with some simple energy accounting practices can help them recover faster to move on.
Different children will find different activities restorative, but these basics can be a great place to start while you work out the nuance of your child:
- Tasty snack
- Drink
- An hour of favourite alone time activity – reading, music, computer gaming
- Changing immediately into comfortable clothing when they get home
- Enjoying a bath or shower
- Participating in a pleasurable physical activity to clear their head
These simple ideas can help kids and even teens who don’t recognise their own body cues for hunger and thirst. Sometimes, something as simple as a milkshake can make a big difference.
At Social Living Solutions, we can help you and your child find personalised coping mechanisms that work for you both to manage change and energy. Book your free introductory phone call today.
